Ho Ho Ho. the holidays are over. You’ve been running on Starbucks Vente Camel Macchiatos with a third shot and Red Bull chasers for two months solid and NOW it’s time for the big crash.
You came roaring off Halloween, shopping started early to get you ahead of the game. You hung the mistletoe throughout the house just so so and hung dad from the gutter as his ladder slid sideways doing his finest Clark Griswald imitation. Luckily you heard the famous Clark words “I’m okay”. You were up all night for Black Friday to save $35 on a couple of gifts, adding more lights to the outside of your house that evening. Your packages are wrapped in a perfect theme, and you were out adding more lights to the outside of your house again the next night. Christmas isn’t here yet and you are returning the two gifts you bought Black Friday because you found them $10 cheaper this weekend, and while you were there you picked up just a few more lights for the house. You set up and played Elf on the Shelf with the kids, and did I mention you added a few more lights to the outside of your house. You were outside 15 degree weather at 10 pm staring at your lights from the neighbor across the streets yard (didn’t think I saw you, did you), deciding to put up more lights outside. You baked and cooked and created cookies and cakes and goodies galore. Then it was time to start distributing early gifts at work and school.” I didn’t know someone would buy gifts for the whole class”, back out shopping you go. An ice storm hit and half your Christmas lights went out and your outside on Christmas Eve, in the ice trying to find where the short is.
Christmas Day is finally here. Sharing a wonderful Christmas with ALL of your family. As the package opening commences, the only thing that comes to mind is Shark Week and a feeding frenzy. Paper and wrap go everywhere, muffled thank yous from all corners of the room. As you open yours you keep telling yourself it’s the thought that counts, it’s the thought that counts. The kids notice the dog is missing. He climbed in one of the gillion empty boxes all over the floor and someone shoved left over tissue on top of him. WOW Glad you caught that. You look at the Super Dooper 1 million piece Megalopolis Toy City you put together last night for you kids and they are not there. They are back on the table with the dried up markers coloring. Wait, didn’t you get them new markers, ohhh those were in the box the dog fell in. Guess they got pitched. Family members sweep across the room with trash bags, swiping up torn wrapping paper, bows and boxes as everyone establishes their “pile” of presents to take home………. And then it’s over, like someone flipped a giant light switch and it’s over. That’s it. You have conquered the shores of Iwo Jima and won the Indy 500 in the past two months to make it a perfect Christmas and that’s it????? SERIOUSLY ITS OVER???
Welllll actually it isn’t. You have decisions to make. Return those gifts that you will never wear or use, or throw them in the back corner of the closet never to be seen or spoken of again, I mean we don’t want to be rude. Should you feed the third fruit cake to Fido or throw it out. Even Fido has limits. Food and candy of every imaginable (and some unimaginable) kinds and you just started that New Years Resolution thing about loosing weight. GOOD LICK. Then there is the mistletoe and stockings and trees, aren’t you glad you decided to put up two trees this year now that it is time to take them down, You’re the sly one. Christmas Kleenex box holders , seriously? Is anything in the house not Christmas and not need to be taken down, wrapped to not break (so you can do this all over next year) put in a box carried upstairs and put in the attic (you know the place that smells funny and you saw a spider the last time in there). Of course there are your outside decorations. The Griswald special with new additions each week and it didn’t even make it on TV. As you are half way through taking them down you seriously consider just turning them off and leaving them for next year. No need to worry, it’s so cold your hands will be numb soon and stop hurting. It’s about now that you realize that if you hadn’t added all the extra lights you would be done now. But the house did look lovely.
And don’t let me get started about the credit card statements that will take you until next October to pay down to do it all over again.
As you sit back this January asking, Why do I go through this every year, remember this quote from Albert Einstein;
Christmas isn’t supposed to be a contact sport. You shouldn’t need to condition and practice 9 months out of the year for it. Christmas isn’t supposed to be depressing. Maybe next year I’ll try something different. Instead of extra lights put that money in the red kettle and give a couple of people Christmas Dinner. When I’m considering buying a loved one that fourth or fifth gift, maybe it should be a check to St Jude’s Children s Hospital in their name where a real miracle could happen. And when I’m stressing over the perfect gifts for the dogs stocking, give them a hug and a check in their name to the SPCA.
More importantly when Christmas day is over and you asking “Is this all” It isn’t over for that family in need They are as hungry today as they were on Christmas, The SPCA needs help year round not just on Christmas, The Salvation Army feeds people 365 days a year not just Christmas and St’. Jude’s performs miracles for children every day of the year. Christmas doesn’t need to stressful and the good feeling of Christmas can last year round. Just imagine a stress free Christmas that the good feeling lasts all year-long.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have several boxes of Christmas lights to take upstairs.