My Blog last week was about the mysterious Elf that showed up at Ebsco Spring. For better or worse his visit has been one of the biggest things to happen at Ebsco in years. Since so many people are interested in our new friend, I have decided to continue chronicling his escapades in this week’s Blog.
The start of the week we found that Elf had very little tolerance for competition. Our good friend Alvin the Chipmunk showed up. Elf put on a big show of how happy he was to meet Alvin. You would have thought they had been life long friends. That is what Elf WANTED us to think. He convinced Alvin to go with him and hang out in the maintenance facility. What none of us knew was that Elf was putting on for us. He HATED Alvin. Elf has an ego and does not like sharing the spotlight with anyone. After luring Alvin to the back building and cornering him. Elf pulled out the oxygen acetylene cutting torch. Just as Elf began moving toward Alvin, our maintenance team walked in. Seeing Alvin in the corner shivering with fear, the maintenance team grabbed the torch from Elf and told Alvin to get out before he ended up like a marshmallow at a campfire. As the maintenance team looked back, Elf he was gone. He slipped out and hid out for the rest of the day.
Now I want to talk about doughnuts. One of life’s simple pleasures is someone bringing doughnuts into work. Now all doughnuts are good but there is one doughnut that stands atop the food pyramid. One doughnut that is the “holy grail” of doughnuts for doughnut connoisseurs everywhere. It is here for only a short time each year. That’s what I’m talking about. The Chocolate, Chocolate Iced Doughnut with Christmas Sprinkles. It is the doughnut that all doughnuts wished they were to be. The king of the snack food world. One of our team members had one of these delights at work. They knew that had to protect it. They set the most elaborate alarm and security systems ever imagined since Fort Knox to protect the doughnut of all doughnuts. Elf, knowing the value of the doughnut decided it had to be his. As you can see in the photo he is winching himself in from the ceiling to beat the laser defenses. I think Elf has been watching too many Tom Cruise movies. And YES, he did get their doughnut.
I didn’t realize that news of Elf had gotten out. On Tuesday, NBC’s The List showed up wanting to do a story on Elf. I hadn’t seen Elf in a while so we took of looking for him, It just so happens we found him in the middle of the Great Christmas Doughnut caper. We got him on video. Click on “The List” to see the show.
Later that day Elf said he like doing impressions and wanted to act out some scenes from movies and TV. I was really excited. I am anticipating scenes from Elf and any of a hundred animated Christmas specials, but noooooooo, not Elf. As you can see in the picture he is acting out scenes from the Shining. The Shining? Not to be misunderstood, I liked both the book and the movie, The Shinning but this was sooooo far from what I expected. Elf acted out the scene where Jack Nicholson chops through the door, sticks his head in and says “Here’s Johnny”. I have to say it did not feel as ominous as it did when Jack Nicholson played the part.
One of the Ebsco team asked Elf what his name was. We had all been calling him Elf. Calling an elf “Elf” at Ebsco is no problem, since he is the only one but we imagined at the North Pole with hundreds or even thousands of elves, they must have names. We were wrong. All of the elves go by ELF. Elf said it worked fine. I can’t imagine. I just keep picturing Santa walking out and saying “ELF, COME HERE”. That could be a major disaster. Just because it works at the North Pole doesn’t mean that it works here. Several of the employees were determined to name our new friend. Emails began to fly. At one point I was worried they were going to shut down the server. They finally came to a consensus, BIG PAPA ELF. Our new friend had a name.
There was still snow left outside and Elf was not going to miss out on that. He contacted his friend Sock Puppet and the two of them were out the door and in the snow. It was nice seeing the little guy have some NORMAL fun. They spent the rest of the afternoon outside sledding and playing. At least as far as I know they did. Later that evening Elf in typical fashion dumped Sock Puppet and ended up with Barbie and a couple of her friends. The next morning, reviewing the security video from the previous evening I found them all around hot tub. I didn’t want to watch anymore after the Pee Wee Herman party so I just left it at that.
I haven’t seen Big Pap ELf today. Have no idea where he is and yes that does worry me. What is he getting into now?
So if you’ll excuse me I have an Elf to go find. More to follow next week in chapter III.