It’s all over. The guest have all left, the trash bags line the curb and the house is almost back to normal. It only lasted a couple of hours if you don’t count the week of preparations.
Now we move into phase II. A week (or more) of turkey left overs. This is when everyone becomes a five star chef, inventing new ways to serve left over turkey. Here is a well kept secret. It still taste like turkey, no matter how you serve it.
Thanksgiving was just a warm up exercise. Now were ready for the main event. I’m certain it will be added as a future Olympic event, They added the one where a bunch of middle aged men (athletes) slide a big rock down an icy path controlling them with brooms so this one is a shoe in. You know the event I’m speaking of? Christmas. Retail stores and television think it started November 1st but the real event start with the infamous “BLACK FRIDAY”
Black Friday is the opening ceremony of Christmas. There are both individual and team categories. Entire families unite like well trained Navy Seals to prepare for the operation. Operation Black Friday begins with well laid plans, labored over with specific objectives (Christmas Gifts) and each individual’s role spelled out. On Thursday the Generals (moms) scour the intelligence reports (Ads). A battle plan is created. A map with coordinates (stores) is generated. Each individual is given several objectives (gifts to buy). Rations (Coffee and snacks) are prepared to keep the troops moving, In the pre-dawn morning they acquire their gear (coats, hats and gloves) and their primary weapons (credit cards). In the pre-dawn darkness they board their assault vehicles (SUVs) and begin their mission. Upon reaching their objectives (stores) they take up fighting positions (lines) with other units (families) around the objective (store). At precisely coordinated times (store opening) they rush to secure their objectives (merchandise). At precise times the units rendezvous at their assault vehicles to move to their next objective. They continue their mission through out the morning until all objectives (gifts) are secured.
Operation Black Friday is a prestigious start to a campaign that will last a month long.
Base Camps (homes) are established and intensely camouflaged (decorated). Most home are camouflaged in red and green to fit in with the environment. Many base camps (homes) add additional security (Christmas Lights) to protect the base camps (homes) at night. Ojectives (Gifts) are secured in secret bunkers (hiding places) to avoid detection. The camouflage (decoration) and security lighting (Christmas Lights) often takes weeks to prepare and can be costly.
After the Black Friday operation is completed their are still several smaller objectives (gifts) that must be secured. Members of the unit spend the entire month conducting smaller operations (shopping). Each individual objective (gift) must be properly bagged and tagged (Gift Wrapped) for later identification. This will continue for the entire month.
Camouflage (Decoration) and security lighting (Christmas Lights) must be maintained for the entire conflict (Holiday Season). Camouflage (Decorations) will deteriorate and need attention throughout the month. Security Lighting (Christmas Lights) must withstand the elements. This will require constant attention to maintain proper coverage of the base camp (Home).
As in any conflict (Holiday Season), psychological warfare plays a key role. In an effort to secure the minds of our allies (friends) numerous flyers (Christmas Cards) are sent out. This effort will often consume the first two weeks of December. In the psychological warfare food (Christmas Cookies) is often used. Food (Christmas Cookies) are universally recognized as a peace offering and maintain relationships important to the alliance.
As the conflict draws to a close, allies (friends) are often summoned to the hone base (Home) for meetings (Christmas Parties) regarding the end of the conflict. Great preparation is required to accommodate all of the allies (Friends) needs. The home base (Home) will be organized and cleaned to accommodate the allies (Friends). Sometimes additional camouflage (Decorations) are needed for the meetings (Christmas Parties). Food will be prepared to meet their diverse taste and drinks (Liquor) provided to ensure proper hydration.
The final week of the conflict (Christmas) is the most difficult. There are often a final few objectives (Gifts) to secure. Objectives will sill require bagging and tagging (Gift Wrapping) and storing in their secure bunkers (Hiding Places). The Home Base (Home) will still need attention and many times a grand feast (Christmas Dinner) is planned for V-Day (Christmas Day).
V-Day (Christmas Day) finally arrives. December 25th. The team (Family) is assembled, sometimes with allies (friends) to enjoy the fruits of their victory. The home base (Home) is strewn with now useless bag and tags (Gift Wrap). The security lights (Christmas Lights) are no longer required and the grand fest (Christmas Dinner) is nothing more than left over remains.
As the General (Mom) surveys the battle field (Living room) with a smile she briefly acknowledges her victory and then begins planning her Black Friday campaign for next year.
From the Author:
I want to acknowledge and thank all of the mothers out there that make Chistmas so wonderful for their families, year after year. Dads help but it is usually mom that drives the event and does most of the work. No matter what your religion I want to wish all of you, Happy Holidays, especially to the generals, the moms.